COLLECTION: 3 of 5

I don’t know if it’s my career path that rubs her the wrong way, or simply seeing me in action, but on my last visit home my mom said I need to be more mature. Really, I have no idea what she’s talking about. I’m plenty mature. Very mature to extremely mature on the maturometer. As proof, I offer you my nephew Oscar again…




Here I am teaching him to play piano.








Look at how good I am with him. Here we are playing with trains.








I even took him to the circus, which he loved…









…until he fell asleep. Even then though, I snuck him out without waking him.






When he got up again, we played even more. I dressed him in a fireman’s costume intended for a four year old—so cute—even after I rolled the sleeves up he swam in the thing.









Of course I looked even better in it. Look at me, I’m A giANT FIREMAN!








Of course, Oscar had a hard time appreciating it, but, well, the sooner kids learn to share the better.





So what’s confession number three? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s that my mom’s crazy.
Or that Oscar can’t share.
Or that I look a awesome in a firemen’s costume.
Or that I can be kinda vane.
I don’t care. Whatever, take your pick. I just wanted to show off how awesome I look in a fireman’s consume. Don’t I look awesome in the fireman’s costume? Yeah, it brightened my day too.


PS: Really, ever time I look at the blog, the fact that their aren’t working archive buttons kills me. Yes, you can go back through all the posts by clicking on an old one, then doing it again and again, but it's not the same. Anyone know how to do it? You helped me get the links buttons off the page, so I figure.... anyway, email me if you know how to make it work. It’s more than just turning them on though.

COLLECTION: Number 2 of 5

WARNING: This one’s long and gross. It’s full of wiener but not what you think. ALSO, THESE PICTURES WERE TAKEN OF ME, NOT BY ME… but I think I’m done doing that for a little while. You'll see.


Nothing brings me down quite like bad weather. And yesterday it was coming down hard.











I tried walking it off… that didn’t help anything.

Anyway, revelation number two is this: WHEN I GET DEPRESSED, I EAT. I know, it’s not nearly as exciting as some of the stuff you guys posted last time around, but what can I say?

Anyway, I went for a dog.







Made me feel a little better. So I went for another.







$2 hot dogs? What is this world coming to…





Not bad… I’m sure I could do a third.











How’s about a fourth?









I was going to stop there, but as I walked by this cart, I heard the guy say, “$1.50.”



I knew those other spots overcharged.







Now I had to know what fair price for a midtown hot dog is.





A buck fifty? I’ll do that.







Something crunched.



Gross.





See anything?



Time to switch gears.



Now just pretend the crunch had come from the nuts, and… yup…



…we’re good for a 7th.







And that’s when it happened.



My stomach started to turn.



Just breath.



Before we go any further, I’d like to thank Erin Ness for once again taking such nice pictures. As a matter of fact, taking pictures this time was her idea completely. Good work Erin.



Of course, they don’t call her Erin “missed the shot” Ness for nothing. Check this out, I’ve started retching. Clearly something’s going to happen.





But she missed it. Oh well. At least I’ve made space for 8.







Maybe I spoke too soon.



Back to the Conde Naste building. Time for Erin to redeem herself.





Kinda missed it again.





Feeling better?





Guess not.



But she missed it again.



I didn’t though (sorry, I had to).





Rinse the mouth and we’re good to go again. It’s like I’m a sorority girl.





In all seriousness, I was starting to feel better too, until I looked at the camera and realized she’d missed the moment of impact again. I was in the middle of thinking who might want to take pictures next time around, when I noticed something else. Something that made me happy. Remember the guy who sold me the last dog?



That guy was multi-tasking…



…and Erin caught that clear as day. How cool is that?


On a more serious note; maybe it’s just that I’m down, but I feel like today’s post is somehow lacking and especially after everyone took the time to leave such awesomely bizarre comments last time around.

Check back tomorrow and I’ll have something new up, promise.

Oh, and don’t be turned off by dirty water dogs. It’s not their fault I don’t know when to say when. It’s just the way I’m wired.