Saturday, May 14, 2005

COLLECTION: What, I Amuse You? Like a Clown?

Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. One per week is about 6 fewer than I’d put up if I had my way, but I’ve been kind of busy lately.

Actually, I’ve been more than kinda busy, I’ve CRAZY busy.

So busy in fact that I forgot to pay my bills and this here web-site actually disappeared for a few hours mid-week.

So busy in fact that I actually went a whole day without eating (it simply didn’t occur to me—I didn’t have the time).

But also so busy that when my good friend Corinne, er Mistress Harlequin, suggested I come to something called a “Mondo Porno” party, it sounded like a good excuse to get out and enjoy myself for a few hours. Besides, how could I say no to this face?




The thing is, moments after I arrived, she told me it was some kind of freaky clown party. (Its funny, because of the way the flash glare blocks out part of my left eye it kind of looks like I'm multitasking, right?)




I know it looked like I was enjoying myself when I took my nephew to the circus—and I was—but truth be told, clowns kind of scare me out. Still Cor, er, Harlequin talked me into staying. “Come on, take pictures,” she said, “it’ll be fun.”




My friend Diva was there—but in the make-up, even she was frightening.




Nervous as I was, I decided to hide behind my camera and wander around some. So far so good.




Corsets are cool.




Whoopee cushions are fun, I can handle that.




And I could definitely handle that.




A clown stripper?




Er, fair enough, sure.




But then things went from weird to W-E-I-R-D.




Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…




…hhhhhhhhhhhhhh….




…hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..




….hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….




….hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….




“You’re freaks. You’re all freaks. Make it stop. Make it stop!” No one was listening.




In fact, Harliquine burst onto the stage…




…threw a clown down and peed on her.




Ahhhhhhh…..




The strange thing is, the more I watched the madness, the less it all seemed to bother me.




Yeah, maybe this wasn’t so bad.




I guess I was getting into it.




The question is: was I becoming desensitized, kind of a ‘whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger’-thing, or was just watching all of this stuff actually changing me?




It’d be hard to say… but I was feeling different, I just couldn’t put a finger on why.




It’s like the answer was right in front of me…




…but somehow I just couldn’t…




…wait a minute.




Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.



Oh well, I guess I’m one of them now.




And now, it’s news time: Having read the comments after my last post (COLLECTION: Making Something Special) I’ve decided not to give up my dreams of cloning my bone. But I’ve also decided not to be so selfish. That’s right, I’m going to share the joy. I’ve ordered 7 kits. Five of my little soldiers of fortune (each one unique, as each will be made from its own mold) will be auctioned off on ebay. One will go to the winner of a yet-to-be invented contest. And as for the seventh? Well, that’s my safety net. Sure, I’ve learned from the mistakes I made the last time, but the thing is anything but foolproof. STAY TUNED.


Of course all of that will have to wait a little as I’m heading to Russia on Monday (can anyone say “mail order bride?” I can and will when I find her). I’ll be back next weekend, but I’ve set an auto-timer so there should be one new post going up mid-week. Notice I said should…. Keep your fingers crossed, check back often and wish me luck.

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Is this the New York undergound I've heard so much about...I share your fear of clowns...I have to go hide now...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

These pictures are straight out of one of my worst nightmares. My fear of clowns most definitely began from that scene in PeeWee's Big Adventure with the clowns. If I have nightmares now of clowns pissing on me, it's so your fault.

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I love your big red nose!!

Don't go to Russia for a mail order bride... everyone knows the ones from the Philippines are better.

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hey jake.
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