COLLECTION: Swim boy, Swim!
NOTE: Once again, these pictures were taken of me… not by me. Ironically, the big thank-you this time goes to Erin Ness—one of MAXIM magazine’s photo editors! (You did know I work for FHM, MAXIM’s only competition, right? Well I do… SCANDALOUS!)
Anyway, you know when people talk about having “one of those days”? Well I’ve just had one of those weeks. Really, stressful doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. The only way things could’ve gone worse is there’d actually been shit and fan. And at least in that situation I would’ve had good pictures….
I was getting ready to repaint my place as a way of breaking the spell. That’s what the orange jumpsuit I’m wearing is about. It’s my work outfit. But before I got down to business, I figured I’d go to the Chinese supermarket around the corner to load up on snacks. The way I see it, any project worth doing is worth loading up on snacks first. It’s just the way I am. I’m not sure why I was posing though. Oh well.
They’ve got these crazy big fish there in these tiny tanks just waiting to be butchered in there. One in particular, the biggest of the bunch, had caught my eye some time back. I don’t know why, but I make a point of visiting with him every time I go shopping.
Today though, he seemed sullen. I couldn’t even get his attention. It was like we were in similar moods...
I walked the isles looking for snacks, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.
When I found myself in the trash-bag isle it seemed like fate. It was obvious what had to be done.
“This one… he’s coming with me.”
I don’t think they believed me. For a brief second I considered doing the whole Jerry McGuire scene (“Everybody thinks I’m going to freak out. Well I’m not. Who’s coming with me?”) but it probably wouldn’t have helped anything.
They called attention to the price per pound… and that this was a supermarket, not a pet store… but I wasn’t swayed.
I mean, look at the sadness.
“I’d take you all with me if I could boys…”
I kind of had this vision of walking out the door with him in a big clear bag filled with water—like a goldfish—but they said this wasn’t that kind of party.
Even a black bag wasn’t enough. To make this flight of freedom work we’d need a bag/box configuration.
When we went to get him out though, all that fight, the vim and the vigor I’d seen on previous grocery trips, came back.
Erin missed his frantic flopping (I was too preoccupied for photos)… but apparently these guys are known as Buffalo fish because of their strength.
Look, it’s like putting a condom on.
Getting him to hold still for the weigh-in was no simple matter. My happiness was building though…
twenty pounds times two dollars per… fuck it. You cant put a price on freedom. And if you could it’d be a lot less than $40, plus tax.
Into the box boy. Let’s get.
Homeboy made a big deal about the price. I tried to tell him the price our forefathers had paid for freedom… they wanted cash.
Then it was time to go.
Check out that goofy look. I’ll bet my dad made a similar face the took me home from the hospital.
Only he didn’t have a twenty pound son (26 with water) or 20 blocks to the nearest waterway.
Step one was getting him to the nearest park…. And wresting my arms.
He kind of went crazy when I tried to pick him up again. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but looking at this picture now, I wonder if he didn’t think the other trash bags were filled with fish too.
A little petting seemed to calm him down.
I was running low on funds, but I figure it you come to New York and don’t ride in a single cab you’re missing out on the experience. Ideally he would’ve been able to look out his clear bag at the city as we drove… we could’ve even taken a victory lap or two around the neighbor hood. Oh well.
Our cab driver didn’t react when I told him to take us to the water, but once I explained the situation, he put the gas on.
Just twelve minutes after our daring escape and I could already smell the water.
But I needed another rest.
Do I have an under bite?
If my dad sees this he’s going to kill me. I’m definitely lifting from the back.
So close.
If I fell now it’d be a travesty. I don’t think he could jump the last few hundred yards. Can you imagine, getting so close, only to fail?
Needless to say I was careful.
One big heave and he’d be free. “Smell that boy? On three… One… Two…”
Gotcha! There was never a fish. Who do you think I am?
OK, that was shot later… to shake the EPA (I’ve been in trouble before). Did I fake you out? How? Didn't you see that cheesy face I making? Anyway, back to business.
"It’s alright little guy. It’s not just about us anymore. This is for everyone who’s ever felt like a fish out of water… everyone who’s ever felt helpless… like life is out of control…"
The pep talk went on for a while.
Then, though I’d planned a moment of silence… I went for the pose-down instead. Projects begin with snacks… greatness begins with a pose-down.
See how I’m saying something in this shot? That’s me telling Erin not to miss the shot. As the official photographer we need to capture the moment for posterity. If Scaly had the Internet, he’d want to see the money-shot too.
Erin said she was ready.
Freedom is like a 20 foot drop….
Gently…
“Go boy, go!”
Erin really fucked that up…
But our little man was happy.
See him?
Oh well. Time for me to go home too. This week, a promise though: There will be no less than 3 new posts over the next seven days, AND I’ll get the archive buttons working, or I’ll pack it in and call it day. Wish me luck. The way I see it I cant loose though, not with all the good karma I just earned anyway…
Anyway, you know when people talk about having “one of those days”? Well I’ve just had one of those weeks. Really, stressful doesn’t even begin to describe what’s been going on. The only way things could’ve gone worse is there’d actually been shit and fan. And at least in that situation I would’ve had good pictures….
I was getting ready to repaint my place as a way of breaking the spell. That’s what the orange jumpsuit I’m wearing is about. It’s my work outfit. But before I got down to business, I figured I’d go to the Chinese supermarket around the corner to load up on snacks. The way I see it, any project worth doing is worth loading up on snacks first. It’s just the way I am. I’m not sure why I was posing though. Oh well.
They’ve got these crazy big fish there in these tiny tanks just waiting to be butchered in there. One in particular, the biggest of the bunch, had caught my eye some time back. I don’t know why, but I make a point of visiting with him every time I go shopping.
Today though, he seemed sullen. I couldn’t even get his attention. It was like we were in similar moods...
I walked the isles looking for snacks, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about him.
When I found myself in the trash-bag isle it seemed like fate. It was obvious what had to be done.
“This one… he’s coming with me.”
I don’t think they believed me. For a brief second I considered doing the whole Jerry McGuire scene (“Everybody thinks I’m going to freak out. Well I’m not. Who’s coming with me?”) but it probably wouldn’t have helped anything.
They called attention to the price per pound… and that this was a supermarket, not a pet store… but I wasn’t swayed.
I mean, look at the sadness.
“I’d take you all with me if I could boys…”
I kind of had this vision of walking out the door with him in a big clear bag filled with water—like a goldfish—but they said this wasn’t that kind of party.
Even a black bag wasn’t enough. To make this flight of freedom work we’d need a bag/box configuration.
When we went to get him out though, all that fight, the vim and the vigor I’d seen on previous grocery trips, came back.
Erin missed his frantic flopping (I was too preoccupied for photos)… but apparently these guys are known as Buffalo fish because of their strength.
Look, it’s like putting a condom on.
Getting him to hold still for the weigh-in was no simple matter. My happiness was building though…
twenty pounds times two dollars per… fuck it. You cant put a price on freedom. And if you could it’d be a lot less than $40, plus tax.
Into the box boy. Let’s get.
Homeboy made a big deal about the price. I tried to tell him the price our forefathers had paid for freedom… they wanted cash.
Then it was time to go.
Check out that goofy look. I’ll bet my dad made a similar face the took me home from the hospital.
Only he didn’t have a twenty pound son (26 with water) or 20 blocks to the nearest waterway.
Step one was getting him to the nearest park…. And wresting my arms.
He kind of went crazy when I tried to pick him up again. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but looking at this picture now, I wonder if he didn’t think the other trash bags were filled with fish too.
A little petting seemed to calm him down.
I was running low on funds, but I figure it you come to New York and don’t ride in a single cab you’re missing out on the experience. Ideally he would’ve been able to look out his clear bag at the city as we drove… we could’ve even taken a victory lap or two around the neighbor hood. Oh well.
Our cab driver didn’t react when I told him to take us to the water, but once I explained the situation, he put the gas on.
Just twelve minutes after our daring escape and I could already smell the water.
But I needed another rest.
Do I have an under bite?
If my dad sees this he’s going to kill me. I’m definitely lifting from the back.
So close.
If I fell now it’d be a travesty. I don’t think he could jump the last few hundred yards. Can you imagine, getting so close, only to fail?
Needless to say I was careful.
One big heave and he’d be free. “Smell that boy? On three… One… Two…”
Gotcha! There was never a fish. Who do you think I am?
OK, that was shot later… to shake the EPA (I’ve been in trouble before). Did I fake you out? How? Didn't you see that cheesy face I making? Anyway, back to business.
"It’s alright little guy. It’s not just about us anymore. This is for everyone who’s ever felt like a fish out of water… everyone who’s ever felt helpless… like life is out of control…"
The pep talk went on for a while.
Then, though I’d planned a moment of silence… I went for the pose-down instead. Projects begin with snacks… greatness begins with a pose-down.
See how I’m saying something in this shot? That’s me telling Erin not to miss the shot. As the official photographer we need to capture the moment for posterity. If Scaly had the Internet, he’d want to see the money-shot too.
Erin said she was ready.
Freedom is like a 20 foot drop….
Gently…
“Go boy, go!”
Erin really fucked that up…
But our little man was happy.
See him?
Oh well. Time for me to go home too. This week, a promise though: There will be no less than 3 new posts over the next seven days, AND I’ll get the archive buttons working, or I’ll pack it in and call it day. Wish me luck. The way I see it I cant loose though, not with all the good karma I just earned anyway…
posted by Jakehimself at 7:14 AM
252 Comments:
Uhh, freshwater fish? Looks like he's swimming towards the Atlantic there... I guess they have internal doohickeys that tell them to stay away from salt water.
i always have the urge to do that with all the lobsters in the supermarket.
go you. what kind of fish was it? i looked up buffalo fish and it didn't seem like the same one. now go free the lobsters. they are calling your name.
It would be amusing if that sparked the destruction of whatever ecosystem is left there, except not at all.
Again: I aspire to be you.
swim scaly swim!!!!!
even though you had a crap ass week, you still had the heart to save an unfortunate being. awesome karma man. awesome!
Jake, I'm so proud of you. You F*ck*n rock! FREE THE FISH!
Okay, so I'm a total bleeding heart vegetarian, but this made me all warm and fuzy inside!!
I'm so glad you saved him!
~Carla
Awe it's like Free Willy, but a scaled down version. Get it? Scaled down? HAHA I crack myself up! ;) That was a big ass fish, though. Think of all the sushi!
gr8 job dude!
Wouldn't it be funny if the fish were agoraphobic? 'cause, man, you probably just dropped him into hell.
Cheers,
David
I hope this gets you girls.
have you checked if buffalo fish are suitable for the local waters? have you not heard of the snakehead fish debacle?
If he's a freshwater fish wont he die out there in the river? Well, it was the thought that counts.
hey look at some of the great things that happen when you introduce a foreign species into the ecosystem
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A51391-2004Apr28.html
that was really beautiful. now if you and i could only take a trip up to canada and save all those poor baby seal pups.
It's like 'Finding Nemo' in reverse! Kind of. Well, not really. But it would make a smashing Pixar flick, no?
that just made my day.
free the fishes!
it was a very entertaining story but next time call me that fish could have fed a family of four....
its funny as shit, but... man oh man... its pretty fucked up, ecologically speaking. remember those snakehead fish that took over those ponds in maryland 2yrs ago? what if this goes the same way? like 12 monkeys, without brad pit.
You should have kept it as a pet. How the hell is that thing going to survive in GREEN water? He has no friends and a new revolting home. Good job, moron!
It was a carp. Very destructive if not a native species. Fortunately, it almost certainly won't live long.
Bravo! However, I can't stop thinking that your fish is going to go forth and eat other fish now... sushi, anyone?
Fan-freakin-tastic job saving the shfishp! Keep up the good work!
What you did was really great. And I'm not even a vegetarian! GO SCALY GO!
aww i love you for saving that fish!! what a great thing :>:>:>:>:>
just for you, i went out and had a big plate of sushi. I love it when they leave the head on.
Haha thats really cool, and a nice story. The only thing I hated was them making all that money out of giving the fish shit, so they will just get more anyway...you should have broke in at night dude and freed them all ;)
On the surface what you did may seem heroic, and you're clearly acting from the heart; however if you were to investigate further and actually think about your actions, you may have done more harm than good. For instance, you may have just released an invasive species into a new habitat where it may cause unimaginable damage to the ecosystem. You may have just endangered dozens of other species to save one individual. So in retrospect you may have just lost major Karma points, not to mention caused some ecological damage. Not to be a downer, but this is the problem when you act on emotion and not logic drawn from facts. Think before you act!
I hope you didn't just fuck up the ecosystem by introducing a new predator species.
Snakehead, anyone?
What the first dude said... That was a freshwater fish you threw in the ocean.
That was beautiful.
That species of carp is responsible for habitat destruction that is causing the decline of native fish and invertebrates GREAT JOB - George Bush would be proud.
Aw, you're my hero!
You're also incredibly hot for someone that wears bright orange pants!
Good job! You introduced a species of carp into an ecosystem that it is likely to destroy! How warm and cute and cuddly! But I'm sure you'll still get laid by some dippy vegetarian who won't notice that in saving one big cute fish, you may very well have doomed thousands of other cute fishes. You're adorable, dude!
It all seems so sweet and innocent but as a biologist, i can say with some certainty that what you did could have some severe consequences. Have you ever heard of the snake-head fish,grass carp, the zebra mussel, duck weed, or water hyacinth? There are countless introduced species in our waterways that are reeking havoc on the balance of biodiversity. Each example began as a guy having a bad day who decided to free some seemingly sweet and innocent creature.
Well, I guess we know that you're not using those oh-so-hipster-geek glasses to read biology textbooks on your lunch hour at FHM, huh?
I must say, Jake, that has got to be the most retarded thing I've seen today, which doesn't say much, becuase I've been confined to a windowless room, writing shit.
Ethically, buying a live fish to put in a box, and then dumping it into the Hudson, shocking the fish's system, leading it towards prolonged suffering is better than killing it on the spot and putting it on ice?
I don't know about you, but I think the latter would be better than the former.
Maybe it's just me.
Introducing non-native species is a really stupid thing to do. Ask the people in Ohio how much they enjoy their zebra mussels. Also, ask the folks in Maryland about the entire lake they poisoned in order to prevent a couple snakeheads from reproducing and destroying an entire ecosystem.
Granted, the East River ain't exactly Poland Springs, but the point stands. Saving the fish: funny? Yes. Smart? Uh, no.
Don't make a habit of it, people.
That was awesome! :)
And illegal!
Unless it's pregnant, or there's already a breeding population out there, both of which are relatively unlikely scenarios, the whole foreign species argument is completely irrelevant, and besides what _we're_ doing to ecosystems the world over all by ourselves, frankly laughable. The river, whilst it's tidal, is probably not particularly saline, on account of how water flows _out_ of an estuary, and anyway salt water isn't instantaneously toxic to most freshwater species. So all you whingeing killjoys can pretty much shut up.
Nice work, sir, cheered me up no end, a pleasingly heartwarming tale.
ok so you fucked up on that one. Please don't go buying rabbits from pet shops and setting them free into a surefire painful death.
"Unless it's pregnant, or there's already a breeding population out there, both of which are relatively unlikely scenarios, the whole foreign species argument is completely irrelevant [...] So all you whingeing killjoys can pretty much shut up."
Oh, I think several state and federal authorities (er, sorry, "whingeing klljoys") might beg to differ with you, genius. Laws that criminalize importation and/or dumping of invasive species don't distinguish between pregnant fish and the rest of them. Dumping any Asian carp like this is illegal, precisely because any (further) introduction of an invasive species is dangerous and environmentally unsound. Period.
Yeah, zebra mussels suck, dude. This is what they mean when they say good deeds never go unpunished.
i live in ohio, and i love zebra mussels!
As a commercial fisherman / person of decent intelligence, I can tell you the fish is dead. NO NEED TO WORRY PEOPLE.
For starters, the East River is a misnamed estuary. Manhattan is an island, making the rivers that surround it not actually rivers at all. That's right, it's filled with salt water. Scaly's estimated time of death would've been about 10 minutes... except he didn't look too good in the water. I'm guessing the 20-foot drop wasn't the best thing for him either.
As far as the damage a toothless carp might do to the ocean Jake dropped him in (and make no mistake about it, with the current it would only take about 15 minutes or so for the thing to go from the LES to the open sea) I'd say its more than peeing in would've done, but not quite as bad as throwing a can in.
All and all it's a funny read, but this fish is dead. The ecosystem on the other hand, will very much survive. Fear not.
free willy
This fish was caught trying to buy a term paper over the net.
You gave it freedom, and you didn't e-mail the dean.
You paid cash rather than with a photograph of a check.
You have good Karma.
i think it's time you got a job, man.
Forget the fish. You're a cutie.
This is the best post I've read in months!!
I think I'm a little bit in love with you.......
i know you enjoy the fantasy land you live in where you've convinced yourself that you just saved an animal, but I assure you, that fish is dead. I could outline the reasons, but they've all been essentially covered.
I know, you'll justify it to yourself by saying "uhh, well Ingrid Newkirk said..." or "well, that PeTA pamplet said 'animal liberation'..." or things like that, but I assure you, whatever peta says, it doesnt usurp science and common sense.
That fish died even quicker than it would have by staying in that market.
And it's all thanks to you, hero.
The fish looks dead. It appears that you put more thought into the pics than saving the fish.
The experts seems to think that the fish either died within minutes or will live possibly kill the ecosystem.
If you felt bad about the fish being imprisioned, you should have had the market fillet him, cook it and serve it to the homeless.
Also how does your "karma" calculate cheap internet stunts to get attention?
Great read, that is awesome.
Also, in order for the fish to take over the ecosystem, he needs a breeding partner. Unless someone dumped a chick fish in the river, there cannot be anymore.
Plus, he is probably also dead. :)
I thought it was a great story. Its alrady had a larger effect on human hearts (for the benifit of animals) than any partuclar harm, i'll bet.
Lets not forget that this is NYC: There are plenty of worse things introduced into the East River every day.
Hot and a UCB fan? I think I'm in lust!
I love you man.
Life will find a way.
You're a hero.
You should really do that weekly or something.
Gee... some people really have a hard time getting things I guess...
It doesn't matter whether the fish will live or die (it can't kill the eco system by itself and can't procreate either). It's not the thought of saving an animal that counts either.
It's a story. About freedom and acting out of a positive impulse, and that really counts!
You rock on!
Rad.
from the Netherlands: Cool...keep the fish in the h20
pregnant fish. sweet.
you should have eaten that fish you candyass.
the fish looks like he's suffering after being stuffed into a plastic bag. way to go
Thank you. Thank you. :)
HAHA hilarious documentary. =D Might as well save whoever was gonna buy him from heavy metal poisoning. Big fish are bad for eating. =P
... as long as he doesn't get into environmentally unfriendly trouble, eh.
-Chris
Hey good job!! Don't mean to kill your dream of a saviour, but that fish probably starved to death... it was used being fed by people, and now he doesn't know how to hunt. lol. Another thing, I noticed he was full with diseases, (fin rot, and fungus that was eating his skin) don't buy fish in that supermarket!!
i think you suld now free the monkeys there better than fish as they have arms
This is for those of you that think you need to dump a breeding population of invasive species into an ecosystem in order to do damage. First off, I agree that the fish is in all likelihood dead! But the fish is often the least of the problem. All organisms carry a certain load of parasites and pathogens. This is purely speculation, but it is possible that some nematode or undescribed parasite was residing in that fish and is now infectting new hosts that it had never previously encountered. This could have untold consequences on the system. This is a story told time and time again, people thinking they are smarter than evolutionary forces. Adaptation and natural selection are powerful and complex forces that shape the diversity around us. I'll say it again, think before acting on emotions. Logic and intelligence make much better companions when making decisions in life.
As it has been mentioned, there are issues beyond just being ignorant, including legal ones. See the following link.
http://library.law.unc.edu/ocean-coastal/nisa.html
Hey, I don't know what all these other commenters are carping about- it's the thought that counts, and things happen for a REASON even if you don't know what it is at the time. Way to go! That was an awesome and impulsive and wonderfully weird thing to do.
wow. you're a really smart and clever guy. not only is releasing exotic species a crime, punishable by very large fines. but also alien (nonindigenous) species are responsible for some of the biggest environmental disasters in the world. for example, nothing is funnier than a Caulerpa taxifolia invasion!
http://swr.nmfs.noaa.gov/hcd/CAULERPA.htm
fortunately, that pathetic fish you dumped is long dead. that's hilarious, by the way!
here's a bunch more side-splitting information about alien species.
http://nas.er.usgs.gov/
keep up the good work, you dumb ass.
Question to all the people talking about FORIEGN SPECIES in an enviornment.... how can ONE fish do harm? Its not going to find other fish of the same species to mate with and reproduce, you know.
Thank you for saving my life. But, poor you. Have you never seen that Simpsons episode where the freed dolphin takes over the world?
I THINK YOU SHOULD BE THE NEXT POPE.
The sad bit were the with-held photos of the fish floating back to the point of release upside down and the bulk made fish stew residing in several refridgerators...
...after reading these comments, I have the strange urge to buy two rabbits and release them into the creek behind my house.
I felt like I was looking at a story board for a short film. It was very funny. You should develop a script and shoot it.
American Bullshit™
yoo - u just spent alot of $$ and effort to kill that fish!!!!! he would have been better off in a fountain or soemthing
I have the feeling you wanted blog material more than anything else. Otherwise you wouldn't have photographed the whole EVENT so much. The "reward" of a good deed isn't blog material.
The East River is salt water. Barely a river at all, it draws from Long Island Sound and mixes with the Hudson in Upper New York Bay. The mix of salt water and fresh water keep the bay from freezing over during cold winters and is one of the prime reasons New York was a successful port to begin with.
So yeah, the fish probably died within a stone's throw of Corlear's Hook (where you dumped the carp). I hope the parasite guy's wrong.
Killing it would have been a crazy rush. I promise you would have felt better afterwards. It's easier to do if you're hungry.
Hi
you are so kind :), nice photo's
Charming? yes. Funny? absolutely. Environmentally friendly? Not a friggin chance. You can pat yourself on the back for being a comedian, but not for being a friend to nature. That $40 could have been given to an environmental org like WildAid or Greenpeace and probably would have saved more than one fish, and spared us of such an idiotic and potentially destructive stunt. You're a friend to animals the same way people who drive their 4x4's through fragile dunes call themselves "nature lovers".
Hey everyone,
It's me, the fish. I just wanted to say that I'm doing fine. I survived that ridiculous trip in the bag, the 20 foot fall, and the most unpleasant brackish water surprise. Right now, I’m checking out the scene near Roosevelt Island because I’ve found it’s a great spot to snag free wireless. As to the whole invasive/non-indigenous issue, I just want to say that I promise to not mix it up with the local tail. I pledge this as thanks for my freedom, and to acknowledge the concerns expressed in these comments. It’s not like I don’t need some. I mean, for God’s sake, with that small tank, my ripped up fins, and my wonderful parasitic fungus problem I could really use some tender lovin’, but as many others have said: “Freedom, freedom, freedom is all the post-incarceration-but-potentially-ecologicall-harmful sex I need.” Thanks, and I'll see you in Vegas Baby!
get a life
and a job
Nice Glasses.
that fish sure had a purty mouth. where is that market?
I don't care if the fish lived or died. The theme was freedom. This reminds me of some movie where the hero knows they will die, but they still go for that one last hurrah at the end, because they know it'll be right. Bittersweet. Like E.T., had E.T. died. And that's no so much to ruin E.T. but to point out this guy reminds me of Elliot and the cab was a bicycle, but instead of E.T.'s head in the front, you had that cab driver. I'm sure E.T. would have been a helluva lot better off in the hands of scientists too. They could have ran some tests and learned somethings. That would be pretty cool if they figured out how to stretch out their necks like that. Who knows?
I think that's where the figure in this story succeeded though. All of us read that bastard until its end, and we all know what happened to the fish. Damn us for even hinting that this fellow did the wrong thing. Scaley may be dead, or he may have ended up creating some new form of bacteria that will one day infest society leading to total madness and anarchy. We all knew that Rocky was getting beaten toward brain damage, but did we warn him? No we didn't. We cheered him to become a stuttering bafoon because that was the point of the matter.
At least for a brief moment, that fish got to swim. That's worth something, and even I know that. I eat meat, step on bugs, and thought it was funny when Conan punched the horse, but even I got the point of the story.
It's been stated many times above, but this is really misguided and stupid. As a professional biologist I can state that it is this kind of crap that wreaks havoc on our streams. I will state that it does look to be one of the buffalo species (Ictiobus spp.) that are native to the U.S. and thus not an exotic asian carp. That said Ictiobus sp. are not native to New York
http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/fish/infish/species/sucker/bbf.phtml
and it was still pretty dumb. Live and learn I guess.
As a formerly incarcerated life form, I am moved, very moved.
You sir, are a self-righteous pinhead. Hey, screw forethought. Why worry about science, It’s all more important that I commit a crime against the environment. Now let’s brag about it so that I can look like I’m holier than thou. How come everyone who lives in a city think they know naturalism?
great photos! good job erin
I love you - you are truly great. That is my favorite supermarket, and I always want to do that. Somehow, though, I did end up with 4 of their bull frogs. They sing very loud but rather lovely songs in the middle of the night. You are my hero.
right on
Power to the carp!
Wow, look at all the highly intelligent biologists/scientists you've attracted. Huzzah. Gr8 blog material. You've found your way to London, Ontario Canada. :P
DUDES, relax! Fish can only hurt an ecosystem long-term if they can mate and produce offspring. Not like this fish can single-handedly kill a whole ecosystem. Unless the fish is hermaphriditic or asexual... But seriously, it's going to die anyways if it's a freshwater fish.
Just let the story be as it is, and stop blowing it out of proportion. SHEESH. Cute story, by the way.
I'm surprised anything can live in those waters anyway! I doubt one fish will do anything... think about what people dump in their every day?! Way to go Jake, I give you props for giving the fish freedom. Even if he did die, I bet he died happy! :-)
Will all you people stop being such unsufferable killjoys? What's done is done and it's sweet. Even being the mountain of masculinity that I am, I did find myself all misty-eyed at end, and quite frankly I gives no shit if it messed up the ecosystem or died or whatnot. The dude is awesome, keep up the good work.
hilarious.
What a trip (and an adventure for the little fish)! Way to go!
You. Are. A. Jackass.
HAHAHA. That was hilarious. It probably swam off and got caught again in less than a day anyway. Might just appear in the same shop again :p
will all of you chill out!!!!
it's the thought that counts.
without a doubt the dumbest thing ive seen today.
you my friend just wasted $40 dollars to get a little attention on the internet.
only a complete idiot would have done something like this.
it sounds like something i would do....
without a doubt the dumbest thing ive seen today.
you my friend just wasted $40 dollars to get a little attention on the internet.
only a complete idiot would have done something like this.
it sounds like something i would do....
Why do people say it's the thought that counts?
There was no thought before he did it. Just up and did it. How is that sweet, kind, caring, etc.
He killed that fish faster than the market would have, why, because he didn't think about the results of his actions. The only good thing he may have done was kill it to put it out of it's misery.
Don't say it's the thought that counts if there was no thinking about what he was doing.
I'm loving how people just posted pretty much the same thing over and over and over again.
Anyhow, awesome story there.
That was great and really brightened my day during one of those weeks. It showed me how doing something impulsive and off the wall can turn your mood around and relieve some stress.
Then I made the mistake of reading all the dickhead comments from the bioligist know-it-alls and it reminded me of the type of people that cause me stress.
all that work and $$$ and the fish didn't grant you three wishes?!?!!
dumb self-absorbed fish. I hope Willy ate it.
man, everyone is complaining like Carp don't already live in a dirty river. and like one carp is going to somehow breed with itself.
Carp eat garbage. if they live in the river, there's clearly not enough of them.
You idiot!! Think of the ecosystem!!
I think it is pretty cool to do that...the ecosystem behind the point.
You can swear up and down about what your tree hugging, pot smoking, Jethro Tull listening parents said about the ecosystem. You could also list a hundred sites telling me how he just started the chain reaction of destruction and possible annihilation of our world entirely. Can't you just take the story at face value? Do you have to argue about the enviroment? What's wrong with you people is that you always have to ruin someones story and try to negatitate the positive. Sometimes the enviroment ain't first. Get over it.
It’s a cool story
Funny as seen I am from New Zealand and it’s not my local ecosystem that by some small miracle gets fucked up because, that is what it would take for that fish to breed or even survive. My big problem with this is the dip shits that go it’s the thought that counts you all need to remember that when a surgeon leaves a clamp inside a loved one of yours. And they kick the bucket (It was the thought that counted) If you people cared don’t the fish disserve better?
Settling things on feelings/emotion is what gets the human race in so much SHIT.
Man i hope you know the consequences of releasing a fish that isnt native to the area. and i hope you do it again soon lol!
You should have at least equalised the water temperatures by dunking the bag containing the fish in the river first!! :D
I hate fish. Just to let you know that...and my sister had a beta fish that was suicidal. It jumped into soapy water and died of shock about an hour later. In speculation, I really hope that's what happened to that "bull fish." Scaly bastard
leave the poor guy alone. every good deed can be countered and made to seem like it was a bad thing to do..i dont live in the USA so i dunno bout all these other stories about other fish infecting water etc. but surely theres worse things going on in the world which harm the environment much more.
everyone who's fighting for why it was illegal or immoral should really take a good look at themselves because im posotive they have made mistakes/hurt the environment before
anyway, if u really pity the guy thats done all this- dont visit the site! is this argument really that important to you?
anonymous, we are not stupid here. You post almost the same comment repeatedly over and over which makes you look dumb like you are just making up your facts and just want to piss people off. How much time do you have that you just keep repeating the same comments over and over again? Get a life.
I personally think it was sweet. But my opinion, as well as the 30-40 other posters with less messages shouldn't matter. You can tell him he's doomed the planet or that he's a hero. But it doesn't really matter to him does it? I mean, the deed, whether good or bad has already been done. Maybe instead of complaining/praising the past, we should try to prevent it from happening again/encourage it.
It's morons like you and the others saying "Oh how sweet" that fuck up the ecosystem. Oh but it was only one fish. That's what the moron who released the first snakehead fish said. The same thing happens when people release lizards, pet rabbits and every other type of animal into the wild. It messes things up, either through introduced disease, a voracious appetite or parasites. When you save one, you are going to kill thousands.
ha ha! I dare you to release another carp in there so that the two can breed!!!
That was a very bad idea. If you had seen the impact carp had on the Australian native fish you wouldn't have released one into your waters.
Thankfully he will probably die from the salt water.
You guys do realise the fish died on the way to the water, I went fishing just the other day, and the fish survived 10mins tops inside a bucket with limited water.
The Bull fish probably died in the cab, when the water run out of oxygen.
If you look carefully at the 2 pics of the fish in the water, it seems it is floating back up.
Comparing that fish to a snakehead is ridiculous. Unfortunately, there are many of them in Lake Michigan. That is also one of the worst invasive species possible, way to compare apples to watermelons.
Saying the carp might be pregnant is also a pretty silly attempt to drum up a worst case scenario.
This reminds me of a frat house in Florida that had a Caiman in their basement, until it got too big and they released it into a canal. It scared some children and there was a Caiman-hunt for a few days covered by all the local networks.
Anyways, even the assumption that the fish would be dead in 10-15 minutes is also probably inaccurate. Many so called freshwater fish are actually able to survive in brackish water, which would be an accurate description of where you dumped him. And it looked like he had enough weigh on him to last awhile.
Good luck, that was slightly bigger than the lone fish in my 100 gallon tank that I had to sell back to the store when I left college. Netting him was like trying to fit a basketball into a paper cup. Hard to take a fish with you when you move.
Comparing that fish to a snakehead is ridiculous. Unfortunately, there are many of them in Lake Michigan. That is also one of the worst invasive species possible, way to compare apples to watermelons.
Saying the carp might be pregnant is also a pretty silly attempt to drum up a worst case scenario.
This reminds me of a frat house in Florida that had a Caiman in their basement, until it got too big and they released it into a canal. It scared some children and there was a Caiman-hunt for a few days covered by all the local networks.
Anyways, even the assumption that the fish would be dead in 10-15 minutes is also probably inaccurate. Many so called freshwater fish are actually able to survive in brackish water, which would be an accurate description of where you dumped him. And it looked like he had enough weigh on him to last awhile.
Good luck, that was slightly bigger than the lone fish in my 100 gallon tank that I had to sell back to the store when I left college. Netting him was like trying to fit a basketball into a paper cup. Hard to take a fish with you when you move.
Way to go FUCKTARD. You wasted $50 on a fish that is now dead. Would have been more wise to give the money to a toothless hobo to suck your gay fucken cock. STFU and Die you hippie CUNT.
P.s. Long live the SPF!!!111
Cool....even if the fish did die eventually he had a LITTLE freedom...thats what I've ALWAYS wanted to do while walking in Chinatown, seeing all the fishies in their tanks looking so sad....all those fishies waiting to be killed and eaten.
Groovy pictures...do more stuff!!
p.s. you are a cutie!
Way to go dumb fuck.
Not only did you just release an invasive species, which is potentially disasterous in and of itself.
But you stupidly released a freshwater fish into the heavily saline (salty) Hudson estuary, which likely killed it within an hour - that is if the shock from the change of temperature didn't kill it sooner.
So. Let's see, you spent forty-plus dollars to either a. kill one fish, or b. damage an ecosystem.
Doesn't it feel good?
Try thinking. That's what your brain is for.
And, you know what? People eat fish. It's sad, I know, but true. It's part of the human condition - to survive, we must eat things that live. From carrots to catfish.
Wow people sure are hatefull. What's all that about? AND, as a rule, if you're going to bash someone, you should at least have the balls to put your name and adress up there as well so others bring it to your front door. Hatefull and pussy equals heartless. At least Jake left a return adress.
I don't care how the fish is... I'd like to have your babies.
God, get a life all of you. You came here to be entertained, right? And it worked, right? Leave it alone.
If I spent my entire life in prison, and was then allowed to walk free knowing I would be hit by a bus within ten minutes, I would do it in a second. The point is, let the fish die free. It's what everything and everyone deserves. very nice thing to do - Let's just not make a habit of it, ok?
I feel like some of you who left negative comments are being hypocrits. You talk about how horrible this is to our ecosystem. Do you smoke? Well, you're messing up our ecosystem. Have you planted a tree within the past few years? Yes, good for you because You are helping the ecosystem. No, you haven't planted a tree? Then maybe you should because that helps the ecosystem. Don't condemn Jake because he did something he felt was right.
Great entertainment - and I've gotta say good job recording the event on camera. Catching single time events is almost impossible; especially if you've never done them before and are improvising on the fly. But, seriously, other things are going to eat that fish and be exposed to diseases and parasites that they wouldn't have been otherwise. And I'd have laughed harder if the empty box pic was the end of this whole photo expose. Or, that, and then you chowing down on well cooked fishsticks.
---
Oh, and I'm a non-smoking park ranger. Negativity in defense against negative comments is a lark!
Well, if you were trying to save this fish from pain you failed. If it did die, than the death was much more painful than the death he would have recieved in the market.
Oh, and it was only one fish right? Well, who's to say there aren't some other PETA, vegetarian idiots out there throwing more fish into the water?
To all you people getting angry at the people who are actually basing what they say on facts (biologists, etc.), at least what they are saying has a little more stand than what you are.
I think the whole thing was a waste of everyone's time.
How heroic.
Animals Rights Activists need to go kill themselves.
Sorry to leave another comment so quickly, but I had to respond to that darling Kristine who said we should stop bashing Jake because he did something he felt was "right."
Guess what, people who bomb abortion clinics are doing what they think is right. People who commit acts of terrorism because of religious beliefs are doing what they think is right.
Heck, half the time someone does something incredibly stupid, wrong or illegal, they think they are doing what is right!
No, you aren't an exception to the rule. People need to stop thinking that way.
great job freeing that fish!
erin did some good pics but u should tell to go back to taking MAXIM pics :P
I would enjoy em alot more (not to say those were bad) :)
great job freeing that fish!
erin did some good pics but u should tell her to go back to taking MAXIM pics :P
I would enjoy em alot more (not to say those were bad) :)
sry bout the double post! :P
I was wondering how exotic species get introduced into habitats that are not ready for a new, invasive and aggressive species that eventually wipes out the native population. See: snakehead in the Potomac watershed, lamprey/alewife/zebra mussel into the great lakes, foxes wiping out seabird populations on the Aleutians. Lucky for Jake, that's an Asian Grass Carp which has already been in the local waters for decades. Then again, there's always the bacteria and parasites that are inside the fish that could infect local species. That, and it's injured, probably in shock, and he put it into a semi-saline environment. Jake quickened it's death, most likely, but it was still a pretty reckless and uninformed act. Please don't do that.
How convenient that you got a perfect shot of him flating ON TOP of the water. You know why? Because he died the very moment he hit that water. He's not acclimated to the salt and temperature, therefore you killed him. Nice job, asshole. You bought a 40 dollar fish that could've fed a family of 4 but instead you just killed it. Nobody wins.
To all who were worried about the carp being pregnant. Rest easy, carp spawn they don't do live birth. Boneheads!
You are a beautiful man. I want to marry someone like you.
You are a beautiful man. I want to marry someone like you.
I'm sure you meant well but not a bright move dropping a non-native species into an ecosystem like that.
You are an idiot. Next you'll be freeing mink in non-native habitats so they'll decimate all the birds. Now about your problems with the EPA, maybe there's a reason for that.
While I'm sure you meant well, it was an incredibly stupid and harmful thing to do. How would you feel if you learned that in doing this one act of "saving" a fish, you've wiped out a species of native fish?
Fuck freeing the fish. Kill and eat the fish. Grill 'em up, Yum Yum Good. Especially the lobster.
This was a joke right? Introducing nonnative species into the water? Hopefully it died straight away and so did its internal parasites...if we are lucky.
That was a carp. Goldfish are just very fancy carp that have been bred for bright colors and swishy tails. So actually, you *were* taking a goldfish home from the store in a plastic bag.
Ummm ... ever heard of the snakehead? That was pretty dumb if you ask me.
Not a smart thing to do. The buffalo fish is probably dead due to the saltwater. More harm then good. You should have saved your money and bought yourself some better clothes.
Nice going. I don't understand why you would waste $40 dollars to kill a fish, claim that you're winning karma points... and post it online? Can you be any more idiotic? Next time you have a bad day go get drunk or laid.
not a smart move. think before you act next time. people doing things this have resulted in serious problems.
Can 1 fish reproduce and cause trouble? Don't you need 2 fish?
wow, what a douche bag
Dude, did you just realize you spent $40 to free a fish?
But good for you though. I always want to free lobsters in Chinese restaurants. One time, this Chinese restauraunt had an octopus and I wanted to free him into the Chesapeake Bay.
I just adopted two Cambodian refugee children and released them into San Francisco's Tenderloin neighborhood.
I figured, there are some Cambodians there, so what would be the harm? Besides, I didn't think they'd be a danger to the neighhorhood.
Too bad they got run over by a taxi, and I had no idea they had Ebola. I mean, since when do Cambodians get Ebola? Isn't that a Kenyan thing? So I'm sorry about the paramedics who helped them...they're dead now. Same goes for the people who cleaned up their blood-vomit, not knowing they were contracting ebola themselves. Now the entire Tenderloin is infected with Ebola, and they're going to burn the whole neighborhood down to the ground.
What a waste of money. I should have bought a Toyota Prius instead.
i don't even know you, but i think i love you! <3 haha jm. it's awesome what u did. i hope your "lil dude" may swim in freedom for the rest of his days. =) once again u're AWESOME!!!!!
~Raine
It was kind of a wild idea, and you spent forty dollars for a fish, but that was really cool!
Cute story. I did that once with a bunch of sea turtles when I was 10.
I have no idea how I got to this forum. It is 4:37am in Melbourne, Australia and you guys have managed to keep me entertained and awake for hours.
This is one of the funniest things that I have ever seen. I am still smiliing.
stupid americans.
the next time when you think of doing something good, stay home with your snacks and just think about it.
yeah it's the thought that counts isn't it. can't believe there are actually so many of you ignants out there.
next i'll go free prisoners into shark-infested waters. i'll have a better story than you!
yeah, you need at least two fish, but hipsters tend to travel in schools, and i half-way expect to read a story in the NYTimes tomorrow about a mass arrest of fish-freeing freaks along the east river...
you moron! do you realize how that fish could kill your local eco system!
look it up
and please try to be a little more educated before you take try somthing like that again.
chinese animal invaders... i now know it was you that brought them here
The cabbie was hot. I call him for my next ride
The fish was a Carp and its a fresh water fish. I hate to tell you this but it died shortly after you released it.
Non-native species blah blah blah.
Um, guys?
What's it going to breed with?
It's not like there's some other guy on the opposite shore with a blue jumpsuit releasing a fish of the same species but opposite gender and they're going to meet and mate and OMG FUCK UP THE ECOSYSTEM.
Please.
I'm reminded of the end of the Simpsons' Whacking Day episode:
Borrrrrrn Freeeeeeeeeee,
As free as the wind blows,
As free as the grass grows,
You bet your ass
I'm born free ... !
Doesn't look like it's swimming at all. Look's like it is floating, dead, in the East River. I wouldn't keep those pix up too long. EPA, Dept. Agrictulture, maybe even City Parks 'll be headhunting because you just released a foreign fish, dead or alive, into the East River and there is absolutely no telling what adverse effects that may have on the environment.
dude! I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking of the cabbie!
oh, and the guy in the orange is cute too.
Ok, well to all the people saying that you probably intorduced an invasive species, well last time I checked you need 2 fish to have little fish babies, so that probably wasn't right. And second, what were you thinking? That fish probably tasted DELICIOUS. And you're just gonna throw it away. What a waste of money.
Anyone that would do that must be the DUMBEST PERSON ON THE PLANET. Go kill yourself now, and save us from your whiny, self-righteous, animal loving bull crap. That fish was better off eaten.
You're an idiot. Cute. But an idiot.
Dunno which is more interesting: the story, or the comments. Either way, I was thoroughly entertained. I am male and str8, and sorry, but I don't understand why grls think jake is cute. The cabbie driver on the other hand... ;)
Ecosystem Shmekoskisum
The fish might have died but he felt the love through the cardboard and plastic just as sure as the East River is nasty.
If you love them, set them free...
Ok everyone calm down. The carp was a Cyprinius Carpio, there is already a population of these in the East River so there is no destruction of ecosystem going on since it will have joined others of the same species. However this particular fish probably did not survive the shock to it's salinity system - going from a small tank to the East River is like jumping from a hot tub straight into a freezing cold shower - the guy did the right thing freeing the carp and the wrong thing putting it in the East River.
Every day I go to work I hope somebody comes by to buy my freedom. Damn you, you lucky fish.
What the hell mate!
That was my dinner! I mean really. That huge fish was going to feed me for a couple of days. Oh well we all have our missions. Just do me a favor don't go buying cows next... actually do cause I really want to see where you let them go.
Jake, this is Sam the fish. I ran into some trouble on the East Side. It seems I owe a bookie two large. Hit me on my cel: (212-410-5555)
:-) you so rock man! if every guy was like you this world would be so cool. stuff greenpeace. u rule!!!!!
:-) :-{) ;-) @:-)
Dude, you're awesome. This is even better than Greenpeace. You're right...There is no price for freedom, especially when you're a fish in a Chinese grocery store. Yay for you! Muy good karma all around...
The psychology behind the people that see the need to berate our protagonist and find ridiculous ways to belittle his selfless action is beyond me. No one cares if this was not the most well thought out plan ever, or if there are more efficient ways to save the world. The point is that he saw an injustice and acted from the heart. I think that is more than can be said for many of us.
This should be taken as an example, not of the action itself, but of the motivation behind it. If each of us were to work to right even one injustice each day, the world would be an unimaginably better place.
That fish looks quite dead...
You rock quite hard.
Given the pictures of the fish after you dumped it in the river, it looks like it was already DOA (Dead on Arrival).
If it was really alive, wouldn't it have swam out of visibility?
Wasn't it heavy taking him all the way out there? And was that really him jumping all the way there?
I did that same thing,and I have it on my website!
If you people are that worried about invasive species and what not just look at what humans have done all by themselves. I mean one fish isn't gonna do anything compared to disease ridden white-folk coming to North America. I mean first we infected the Native Americans then we decide to see how many native animals we can kill.
Seriously, this guy did something good. He took something that was in a box just slightly bigger than itself and gave it room to move. Even if it didn;t live long, it was better than what it had.
+ 315 Karma points. Awesome story.
i'm going with what "The Girl" said
:D
FUK what meat eater said!
So the consensus among the non-ecologists is that this story is heart-warming so long as:
A) the fish didn't mate with any other species.
B) it didn't introduce any new parasites or diseases.
C) no one else threw any more fish of the same species into the East river as a nifty blog entry or were inspired to after reading this blog entry.
to recap, as long as A,B, and C didn't happen, this is a heart-warming story, according to the ones who know best, the non-ecologists.
Hey, look an a-hole killing a carp.
I love how all the haters are like, "You ruined the eco-system, putting a carp in the ocean" and "Nice job killing the poor fish". Shut the f#ck up! Humans have screwed up every other animal on the planets ecosystem, why do they need to bitch about a fish or plant screwing up ours? If they are biologist they should realize that life is about survival of the fittest, it doesn't matter if a newly introduced species starts to take over, it's how we adapt to it that counts (any of you so called biologist commentators out there ever read Darwin?). Also, who cares if the fish died when he dumped it in the river? It was destined to die anyway, it was either the river or the stove for that thing anyway! And for all the people who said he should have cooked a meal for the homeless, why don't you quit paying for the internet every month and take a homeless guy to diner? This is America people! He has every right to spend his money any damn way he wants, and he shouldn't have to put up with stupid or snide comments from those of you who are less creative! I thought the pics/story were awsome, keep it coming! Maybe next time you could free one of these hypocrite's minds, now that would be a challenge!
Since there seem to be a lot of animal friends here maybe something good can come out of it.
If you want to help animals, donate to those who know what to do:
http://panda.org/how_you_can_help/donate/index.cfm
This is the World Wildlife Fund.
The above? Would have been funny if it wasn't so increadibly, bloody daft... Now go donate! For the $40 wasted on the poor - now dead - fish, each of us help the donate $10... it will make a BIG difference!
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