STORY: More Than My Money’s Worth
In honor of that last long winded, self-serving post, I thought I’d leave you with something a little more… well, er, I’ll let you be the judge.
The first time I hung out with Grant we went to an event for the new Reebok pump. Free booze, cocktails, they even gave us a pair of sneakers (please note: the new auto-pumps are nearly un-wearable, contrary to what they say, they choke your feet). As we headed home, we noticed an older lady trying to pull her skirt down to cover her pale, naked ass.
“Wait, I’ve got to get a shot of this,” I told Grant.
Just then she spun around, “That’ll be $20!”
“Fuck that…”
Halfway down the block Grant turned to me. “You know, you really should give her the $20. Just demand she gives you at least 5 poses for it. I’ll even put up the dough just to see what happens.”
It was on. We found her in a corner store a few feet from our first spotting. “Look what I’ve got,” I said, waiving the bill in front of her. She tried to lunge for it, but I snapped it back. “I’ll give you the $20, but I need at least 5 poses for it.”
“You mean like a photo-shoot?”
“That’s exactly what I mean: a photo shoot.”
Now keep in mind when we left the store for our “photo shoot” it was only about 10 O’clock. This is on Saint Marks Place (8th Street in NYC), that means there are people walking by. Think about that as you ponder the pictures below.
“Alright, lets see pose one.”
“OK, how about something hotter?”
“Sexy. Now the third. Put the cord—yes, just like that!”
“Now with the bill…”
Grant couldn’t even watch. Horrified, he’d disappeared the second her leg hit the banister. That is, until some well meaning passer-by asked if I wanted to be photographed with my muse. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, there’s Grant. “Yup, everyone lean in…”
Sure a $20 could’ve bought two drinks at the bar, or a movie ticket, popcorn and a soda, but the friendships that were forged that night… that $20 became something so much greater. A moment to remember forever. Like a prom. A wedding. Or a ticket for indecency, like the police who drove by just as the flash went threatened us with.
The first time I hung out with Grant we went to an event for the new Reebok pump. Free booze, cocktails, they even gave us a pair of sneakers (please note: the new auto-pumps are nearly un-wearable, contrary to what they say, they choke your feet). As we headed home, we noticed an older lady trying to pull her skirt down to cover her pale, naked ass.
“Wait, I’ve got to get a shot of this,” I told Grant.
Just then she spun around, “That’ll be $20!”
“Fuck that…”
Halfway down the block Grant turned to me. “You know, you really should give her the $20. Just demand she gives you at least 5 poses for it. I’ll even put up the dough just to see what happens.”
It was on. We found her in a corner store a few feet from our first spotting. “Look what I’ve got,” I said, waiving the bill in front of her. She tried to lunge for it, but I snapped it back. “I’ll give you the $20, but I need at least 5 poses for it.”
“You mean like a photo-shoot?”
“That’s exactly what I mean: a photo shoot.”
Now keep in mind when we left the store for our “photo shoot” it was only about 10 O’clock. This is on Saint Marks Place (8th Street in NYC), that means there are people walking by. Think about that as you ponder the pictures below.
“Alright, lets see pose one.”
“OK, how about something hotter?”
“Sexy. Now the third. Put the cord—yes, just like that!”
“Now with the bill…”
Grant couldn’t even watch. Horrified, he’d disappeared the second her leg hit the banister. That is, until some well meaning passer-by asked if I wanted to be photographed with my muse. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, there’s Grant. “Yup, everyone lean in…”
Sure a $20 could’ve bought two drinks at the bar, or a movie ticket, popcorn and a soda, but the friendships that were forged that night… that $20 became something so much greater. A moment to remember forever. Like a prom. A wedding. Or a ticket for indecency, like the police who drove by just as the flash went threatened us with.
posted by Jakehimself at 6:01 AM
4 Comments:
is that chipotle???? thats jsut wrong.
it's probably just my lack of interest in the fairer sex talking here, but do you not find yourself wondering what she's listening to on that walkman? i'd like to imagine that it's, like, the M.I.A debut but it's probably closer to Aaron Tippin's 'Toolbox.' i also think it's funny to imagine that walkman being an mp3 player, and then to imagine that she takes her 20 dollars and goes "home" and transfers some files from her laptop and then takes nine tylenol 3's and goes to sleep.
i guess i have to move to NYC then. i'd still be too scared to do a photoshot with her though.
wow, you are everything that is wrong with the world. Honestly.
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